Act like you've got it, even though you haven't.
Director of Public Health England Becky Reynolds has told people in the South of England to self-isolate if they have Covid-19 symptoms even if they have tested negative in a nonsensical rant that inadvertently makes a mockery of testing.
The ridiculous demand comes after several patients in Bath, Bristol and Swindon tested negative on a PCR test after a lateral flow test returned positive results, just highlighting the uselessness of any Covid-19 tests. The answer to inaccurate tests? Self-isolate, even though the 'gold standard' test has been negative.
'The advice is also to think about your local situation, do an individual risk assessment... so what is the likelihood that even though the PCR is negative, that you may still have Covid?'
Reynolds admitted to the BBC it was a 'confusing' situation for people but asked for patience while an investigation into the testing anomalies takes place. An Independent Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (SAGE) member has called for an investigation to be conducted 'seriously and rapidly' as if it's the first they've heard that both lateral flow and PCT tests are useless for detecting Covid-19.
Meanwhile Chief Medical Advisor for the UK Health Security Agency, Susan Hopkins, suggested people make sure they read the instructions properly to avoid 'incorrect readings', because, you know, it's the public's fault and the tests definitely work.
Dr Lucy Pocock, a GP from Cadbury Heath Healthcare in south Gloucestershire, raised concerns over the issue after seeing a 'stream of patients' who had received negative PCR results but positive lateral flow tests. She told the BBC: 'The worrying thing here is that these people are all clearly symptomatic and with a very unexpected negative PCR result.' showing exactly the mindset of health professionals who see Covid everywhere. Covid is symptomatically identical to seasonal flu so how does Dr Pocock know that it is Covid? Short answer is she doesn't.
But the mindset that everyone is ill with Covid even when they're not permeates throughout the NHS. They're obsessed with the idea that we're all infected with it. Medics have 'raised concerns' people are 'unwittingly spreading Covid-19 because of the testing confusion.' The mindset is, you have it, even if you have no symptoms; you have it, even if you test negative; you have it.
Covid tests are like a modern day Ducking Stool used during the Witch trials to determine guilt. If the person accused of being a Witch drowned then she was innocent; if she floated she was guilty of being a witch and was burned at the stake.