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Writer's pictureEditor Darren Birks

You F***ing What?

These idiots are in charge


A roundup of the most ridiculous, creepy and authoritarian rules thought up by cretins in charge this week.

Daniel Andrews

Let's start with Daniel Andrews, Premier of Victoria who informed its people: "there will be no removal of masks to consume alcohol outdoors, so you will no longer be able to remove your mask to drink a cocktail, at a pop-up beer garden, on a footpath, as part of a pub-crawl" How is that supposed to work dickhead?


Jacinda Ardern

Not wanting to be outdone in the ridiculous rules stakes, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has mimicked Australia’s top public health official by telling citizens, “Don’t talk to your neighbors,” after the country went into full lockdown as a result of just a single COVID case being detected. She also claimed that evidence from the UK proved that people could pass on the virus just by 'walking past each other'.

World Economic Forum

Creepy totalitarians the World Economic Forum this week came up with a new way of tracking you; firing lasers at your heart. The absolute loons who brought you "you'll own nothing and you'll be happy" have recently had a problem: How to identify Surfs now that they're all wearing masks - answer? Fire a laser at their heart! Nothing creepy about that at all. Apparently, we all have a unique heart rhythm, like a fingerprint, and as identification is more important than anything else in the dystopian Great Reset world they're forcing on us they'll just have to use lasers shot at your heart obviously.


Vaccine Official.

Whilst in America a vaccine official, Dr Michelle Fiscus, claimed that someone sent her a Muzzle through the post with the message “stop talking about vaccinating people” but paid for the thing with her own credit card. What was her Doctorate in? Thickology?


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