top of page

FUCK CHRISTMAS, It's a SHITFEST, and Here's Why


Christmas is the worst time of the year.


Whilst Christmas is sold to us as a time of 'peace and goodwill to all men' the reality is that it's a shitfest of greed and narcissism that we only kid-ourselves isn't.


Plastic fantastic actors on the Disney channel might be having a good christmas, but then they're about as convincing as the Green Party's latest female MP. About as honest as Captain Tom's daughter.


For millions Christmas this year is more likely to resemble an episode of Eastenders,  though maybe not quite so many murders. 


The shitfest starts earlier and earlier too; shops start putting out christmas stock in October, with every third council house getting plastered with christmas lights the second the halloween tat has come down.


By December the queue-barging has begun. Every mouth breather in a hundred mile radius will be in your supermarket, glaring at you whilst they imagine kicking you to death for being one place in front of  them in the queue.   They'll be the same mouth breathers in the Nizzan Quashqi who attempted to ram you out of the way in the car park earlier.  


Those very same supermarkets will have cranked up the prices of everything in October, the final insult after making you scan and bag your own items all year whilst treating you like a criminal  all the time you do.   Shops that increasingly look like a rejected set from Logan's Run will be playing the same 12 Christmas Tunes you've always hated but still have to endure 200 times every 300 days. The bright lights, piped-shit, and cctv increasingly making you question how it differs from the CIA's white noise programme that broke so many of the Viet Cong back in the day.


The office Christmas party will be the usual shitfest too. Having to be friendly to people you wouldn't normally piss on if they were on fire is yet more torture surely devised by evil people, usually organised by that one in the office who thinks a Christmas Jumper makes up for not having a personality.


If you get them in the dreaded secret santa you spend three days debating whether a 'chocolate log' on the bonnet of their car counts as being a gift under five pound. Same with a punch in the face. They'll be the same one that decided to buy a goat on your behalf a few Christmases ago, the virtue signalling cunt.


Most marriages end at Christmas, the first week in January always see record numbers of divorce papers signed. Its when most men commit suicide as well, usually having been stopped from seeing their own children over Christmas once too often.


Its the loneliest time of the year for old people too.   Calls to charities tripple during Christmas as millions of elderly people get conveniently forgotten by their families ,you know, just because..


Thousands of single mothers don't escape the stresses of Christmas either, getting themselves into hock after buying a shed-load of expensive tat that they'll spend the rest of the year trying to pay off, only to do it all again next year.  


But then we all will won't we? Or at least, the ones still here.

77 views1 comment

1 comentario


" But then we all will won't we? "

Oh no I fucking well won't. Mt middle name is Grinch, the same as yours by the sound of it!😁😁

Ps. I saw a festive jumper in Tescos the the day that summed it up for me, it had a picture of the Grinch peeking out from behing a door or something. The message read, ' IS IT OVER YET? '.

Me gusta
bottom of page